The sound sucked on the last show suck’d, so here’s a bunch of pre-recorded stuff edited together into some kind of show-like conflagration! In this, the most un-lost-est of episodes, our pennjillette is Reverend Caller 23, in the studio for gardening tips and best practices regarding the storage of coin polish. reverand [sic] peas [sic] had a bad day and subsequently fades in and out of a Discord coma. Doktor Faux explains the perils of non-standard jar threading. Fidd Chewley offers his patented Do’s-and-Dont’s regarding false memory implantation. Listen to this episode seven times in a row and win an ice cube tray full of George Wasington Memorial Toothpaste!
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Time for the Show
Season One – Episode Fifteen
April 20, 2018
Argus Faux, Fidd Chewley, Rev Caller #23, reverand [sic] peas [sic]
Songs in this episode:
- %Artist% — “Psychological Warefare pt 3”
- Rev Caller’s YouTube Channel!
- The noise-music-bed in the first segment was from a live recording by BobbY Clock and Fidd Chewley at Hypercube Labs
Episode art by Reverend 80
Doktor Faux slinks back into the studio after last week’s fiery fiasco to have a one-on-one, heart-to-heart, dashes-and-hyphens chat with Reverand peas. Most of the show discusses how we have progressed from “coming up with next week’s show” to “reviewing how bad the show is already”.
Doktor Faux returns to Hypercube just in-time after returning his ten-year overdue copy of Steel Dawn to the Blockbuster Quick Drop. Reverand peas is super-excited that robo-peas will be replacing him on the show, and Caller 23 recites the fist 1,438 digits of Pi when some rambunctious asshole shows up and decides they should be on the show.
Do you not know, Asclepius, that Egypt is an image of heaven, or, to speak more exactly, in Egypt all the operations of the powers which rule and work in heaven have been transferred to earth below?
Nay, it should rather be said that the whole Kosmos dwells in this our land as in its sanctuary. And yet, since it is fitting that wise men should have knowledge of all events before they come to pass, you must not be left in ignorance of this: there will come a time when it will be seen that in vain have the Egyptians honoured the deity with heartfelt piety and assiduous service; and all our holy worship will be found bootless and ineffectual. For the gods will return from earth to heaven.
Egypt will be forsaken, and the land which was once the home of religion will be left desolate, bereft of the presence of its deities.
This land and region will be filled with foreigners; not only will men neglect the service of the gods, […] and Egypt will be occupied by Scythians or Indians or by some such race from the barbarian countries thereabout. In that day will our most holy land, this land of shrines and temples, be filled with funerals and corpses. To thee, most holy Nile, I cry, to thee I foretell that which shall be; swollen with torrents of blood, thou wilt rise to the level of thy banks, and thy sacred waves will be not only stained, but utterly fouled with gore.
Do you weep at this, Asclepius? There is worse to come; Egypt herself will have yet more to suffer; she will fall into a far more piteous plight, and will be infected with yet more, grievous plagues; and this land, which once was holy, a land which loved the gods, and wherein alone, in reward for her devotion, the gods deigned to sojourn upon earth, a land which was the teacher of mankind in holiness and piety, this land will go beyond all in cruel deeds. The dead will far outnumber the living; and the survivors will be known for Egyptians by their tongue alone, but in their actions they will seem to be men of another race.
O Egypt, Egypt, of thy religion nothing will remain but an empty tale, which thine own children in time to come will not believe; nothing will be left but graven words, and only the stones will tell of thy piety. And in that day men will be weary of life, and they will cease to think the universe worthy of reverent wonder and of worship. And so religion, the greatest of all blessings, for there is nothing, nor has been, nor ever shall be, that can be deemed a greater boon, will be threatened with destruction; men will think it a burden, and will come to scorn it […]
Darkness will be preferred to light, and death will be thought more profitable than life; no one will raise his eyes to heaven ; the pious will be deemed insane, and the impious wise; the madman will be thought a brave man, and the wicked will be esteemed as good. As to the soul, and the belief that it is immortal by nature, or may hope to attain to immortality, as I have taught you, all this they will mock at, and will even persuade themselves that it is false. No word of reverence or piety, no utterance worthy of heaven and of the gods of heaven, will be heard or believed.
And so the gods will depart from mankind, a grievous thing!, and only evil angels will remain, who will mingle with men, and drive the poor wretches by main force into all manner of reckless crime, into wars, and robberies, and frauds, and all things hostile to the nature of the soul. Then will the earth no longer stand unshaken, and the sea will bear no ships; heaven will not support the stars in their orbits, nor will the stars pursue their constant course in heaven; all voices of the gods will of necessity be silenced and dumb; the fruits of the earth will rot; the soil will turn barren, and the very air will sicken in sullen stagnation. After this manner will old age come upon the world. Religion will be no more; all things will be disordered and awry; all good will disappear.