NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.
In this episode, Fidd Chewley once again intentionally gets caught by “To Catch a Predator” in his ongoing investigation, “To Catch a Predator Catcher”, and you’ll NEVER BELIEVE the AGGRESSIVELY PREDICTABLE CONCLUSION!! Professional Hopscotch referee, Doktor Cosmac, joins the show halfway through to satisfy government-mandated psychological diversity requirements. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] delivers an overly-long, underly-cautious PSA. Fidd delivers a PSA of his own: if you don’t do drugs, then drugs will do YOU. Doktor Faux doesn’t understand either PSA and demands to be mansplained to. Peas defends his championship in our new game, “Is It a Band”. We hereby apologize to our sponsors for forgetting to mention them during the show AGAIN: Adderall PM, Johnson & Johnson Human Growth Hormone, and the Make-a-Wish Foundation (please don’t tell them I’m not terminally ill).
“He who shits before he showers yet still wipes his ass is a fool.” — Book of Fidd, 2:73
For the THIRD week in a row, TIME FOR THE SHOW is rated the number one Canadian internet radio show in southeast Asian sweatshops! Jackie Robinson, the baseballist, does NOT make an appearance in this episode, but Reverand [sic] peas [sic], Doktor Faux, and Fidd Chewley manage to break the baseball color-barrier for the first time in the 21st century ALL BY THEMSELVES! We’re HEROES. This is the episode where Doktor Faux makes a polygraph machine question itself, Reverand [sic] peas [sic] lobbies for the rights of melted plastic army men, and Fidd Chewley promotes his new business — selling the unibrows of school bus drivers. This week’s episode is sponsored by Family Crest, the incestuous toothpaste.