me and my dad make models of clipper ships
i like clipper ships because they are fast
clipper ships sail in the ocean
clipper ships never sail in rivers or lakes
clipper ships have lots of sails and are made out of wood
TIME FOR THE SHOW is back for a second year, thanks only to the tireless labor of the children in the Hypercube sweatshops, whose names will quickly be forgotten by history, but whose deeds will continue to earn us “likes” on Farcebook. The hosts planned a meeting before this episode to talk about what to do with the show in the new year, but it wouldn’t be an episode of TIME FOR THE SHOW if we didn’t spend the show talking about what to do on the show, so it was decided to save said meeting for the show, which turned out, as usual, to be potentially, but not actually, a good idea. All of the above plus Blind Eyes, Viewer Mail, Is It a Band, and Peas’s Apologies in this, the premiere episode of 2019 of TIME FOR THE SHOW!
You are going to SHIT YOUR FACE when you hear this episode. This week’s magic phrase is “Nariff Nariff Barungaroo”. Doktor/Engineer/Doktor Faux is running the show from Hypercube HQ all by his lonesome while Fidd Chewley calls in from Tampa and Reverand [sic] peas [sic] calls in from his desert hidey-hole. The hosts attempt to play a new game, “That’s Racist”, but peas has to be a crybaby about the rules, so the game is abandoned in favor of the tried-and-true game, “Is It a Band”. The militantism of tennis ball-boys and executive chefs is explained. Fidd Chewley wins the Kenny Floyd Memorial Award for most drunken podcruster. The entire second hour of the show is spent speculating on what kind of dress what’s-her-tits is going to wear to the royal wedding.
peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui, then introduces him again, and again, then the show attempts to start, then peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui. The hosts lie about how good the show is going to be, then peas introduces his new character, Scoop McNewsgui. After playing the first song of the show, “20th Century Newsgui” by The Scoops, peas workshops a new character and names him “Scoop McNewsgui”. The Blind Eye Segment turns out to be good, but it could’ve been better if it’d included some kind of reference to Scoop McNewsgui. Week 3 of Is It a Band is played, and Christ be damned if Scoop McNewsgui doesn’t join the show for the live post-game report. In the second half, peas comes out of nowhere with a hot new idea: a Slavic character named “Scoop McNewsgui”, an offering which single-handedly saves the show — not just for THIS episode, but for perpetuity in all possible universes. As usual, peas apologizes for the show at the end of the show, but somehow forgets to apologize for inventing Scoop McNewsgui. This episode is best listened-to with earplugs.