Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
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Time for the Shill

When I was a boy, I took a fondness towards the praying mantis. The way they would stand, unwavering against any terrain or element. These noble beasts reigned over lands, wetting their insatiable hunger they were inherently built to sustain. I picked one up once. It pinched my finger just a little bit. It scared […]

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Blockflustered: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Everyone loves a sequel, especially when that sequel comes out twenty-three years after the original. If you haven’t seen the original film, it is about a magic board game that turns the lives of a few kids upside-down by turning their house into a jungle. It’s basically Home Alone with animals, as couches are shredded by lions and cars are stomped by elephants all-the-while Robin Williams plays a character who was trapped in the game decades prior and is now loose in the house and possibly rubbing his hairy person all over a shelf of Disney-themed knick-knacks.