NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.
It’s Christmas, and Jesus doesn’t look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in “radio school”. The hosts do their famous “intro trick”, which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what’s going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month’s worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submissions are fake news — a new record! Peas talks about something he calls a “mustard poltriss”, which for some reason leads him not only into disclosing the secrets he learned as a Shriner and Mason in the Scottish and York rites (no shit), but also articulating a scholarly explanation of Kwanzaa before getting steamrolled by Fidd and Faux into apologizing for the entire show hereuntoforthwith. Fidd and peas are rightfully shitfaced by the end of the show — no further notes required.
After the previous show’s debacle Doktor Engineer Doktor Faux rebuilds the HyperCOMM voice-bridge just in time for the Show’s newest friend: Chris. Hailing from parts unknown, Chris enters the satellite studio in Las Vegas, Utah with peas and immediately begins challenging every authority on the show. After stealing the mic away from peas, Chris unleashes THREE (3) BLIND-EYES. Doktor Cosmac (COSMAC’S COMMANDOS) shows up to judge Is it a Band before viewer mails and voicemails are quickly overlooked and then a NEW GAME: Messiah or Pariah. The guys debate over Chuck E. Cheese’s position in society before Fidd tells a wholesome family story about the BALL PIT. Peas apologizes and everyone tells Chris how great he is.
Fidd Chewley is calling in from Tampax again, which results in the show being mostly unlistenable (so on-par) . In this super-condensed episode the guys turn blind eyes which results in peas achieving his first “solid” erection as he goes on to tell Fidd how good his blind-eye was for the rest of the show.
A new sponsor: Betty Crocker’s Poop Roll-Ups. Time is fake because calendars are gay. Faux tells a joke. The TIME FOR THE SHOW “Take Kids Around the World” charity. Fidd is a WWII veteran. Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight. Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley. Canadian Felon summer camp. Who peed in your bongwater? A highly surmountable problem. BLIND EYES! Peas disapproves of Fidd’s Blind Eye. DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome. Mature language is immature. IS IT A BAND –> Round one: Bicyclops. Round two: Insecurity Council. Round three: Stinkfinger. Round four: The Radioactivists. Viewer mail: “What happened to the funny parts of the show?” Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist. Peas explains to you why you’re listening to this show. Arli$$. We kiss each other. Weekly Patreon love. CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?! Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone. Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer. The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt. Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. The ceremonial on-air sound check. Peas gets Teller on the show and demands the ears of Democrats. Hosts’ questions for Teller. Time for the Show: fuck, merry, kill. Monday is Bottomless Bread Night for Illuminati members only. A second round of Blind Eyes. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR GOOD CONTENT. Is It a Brand: the “Rumbleball” brand medicine ball. If you want to avoid seeing the movie “Venom”, simply impregnate your wife LIKE DOKTOR FAUX DID!! Peas dutifully apologizes for this episode. Our sacred Google Play link.