Aster Six – Time for the Show

Episode 60: Two Girls, One Cuck

If your ears aren’t dripping with amniotic fluid after listening to this episode, then we’ll give you TRIPLE YOUR DIGNITY BACK! For the entirety of this episode, Cat Feather plays the role of Fidd Chewley, Aster Six plays the role of Argus Faux, and peas plays the role of whoever plays the role of peas when peas isn’t present! 60 is a highly composite number, and episode 60 of TFTS turned out to be a highly composite version of the show as exterpreted by the most capable of all proxies. HOW AUSPICIOUS! Not since banks started offering sugar-free lollipops has such an advantageous circumstance eventuated itself — this time in an easily digestible podcast suppository! Get off your ass, sit down, and in the words of Chuck Berry’s fictional cousin, “Listen to THIS!”

Episode 47: Attenuated Attendance

Peas has fled the country in an attempt to create an off-shore bank-account but doesn’t know there aren’t any on the beach. Fidd is barely alive after avoiding a puke-fee in Tampax. Doktor Cosmac arrives to attempt to replace peas, but who are we kidding. Aster Six shows up as well and the GANG plays Is it a Band with a new list by Cosmac. Pee-Wee Herman is the subject of this week’s Messiah or Pariah and Faux begs the viewers to tell a friend about the show. Won’t YOU?

Episode 26: The Director’s Cut

It’s our first episode since the Fourth of July, the date recognized the world over as the anniversary of the date Lord Donald Trump attained Constitutional Buddhahood. This week: Every other country should give up their retarded language and speak English. Doktor Faux makes the “Call of Duty” argument for patriotism, citing America’s sweet K/D ratio. Stolen Valor is a felony, but Fidd Chewley knows a guy who sublets him some valor under-the-table, so it’s all good. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] is doing the show EFFED-THE-EFF-UP from mixing rum with the meds he’s taking for dem Shingles, and Fidd pre-emptively gives him the Kenny Floyd Award. NEW GAME: “Is It a Band?” We try to play it. It “works”. By the end of the show, peas does a good job apologizing for everything except the fact that the Blind Eye segment never completely got off the ground, but that’s not bad for a guy who is, as I said earlier, EFFED-THE-EFF-UP on Shingles meds and rum.

Episode 16: Legume

This week’s pennjillette is Doktor Legume! On this episode, the hosts have their white privilege called out by Doktor Legume. Doktor Faux trades his family’s cow for the last three Quaaludes in existence. Fidd Chewley’s weekly tip for non-hemophiliacs is how to de-scramble eggs WITHOUT selling your soul to Satan. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] introduces his new line of low-impact wiffledildoes.

Episode 14: Cat Feather

This week’s pennjillette is Cat Feather. Fidd can’t correctly tune his duduk, so he purposefuly sneezes on Faux’s ant farm in frustration. peas [sic] attempts to do good radio; he is immediately corrected and punished by Faux and Fidd. Co-solipsists, Dok Cosmac and Not-That-Bob Dapper, join the show in the second hour, but soon run home crying to their mommies and TELLING ON US! By the end of the show, Penitent Man is once again the only one who passes. Leave a voicemail: 1-234-REV-FAUX See Cat Feather’s art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MEATPASTRIES Get your future logic developed at the Future Logic Development Corporation: www.FLDevCorp.com

Episode 08: Video Blame

Faux, peas, and Fidd get the band back together just in time for the local high school’s Battle of the Podcasts. Dok Cosmac returns with a thumbtack in his shoe to talk about X-Day: The Video Game: The Demo. Fidd’s license to dock in the safe harbor is revoked. In the second hour, the show is INVADED by the most guests so far: Aster6, Dok Ellis, Apostasy X Fnord, Rev Couchsloth, Reverend Caller 23, Cat Feather.

Episode 07: Cosmac Smash

THE CONVERGENCE IS UPON US!! All of the COOL SubJeemises are at Hypercube for a week of repeatedly checking on each other to MAKE SURE IF THEY’RE OKAY. Fidd struggles to rally for the show after two days of eating nothing but a banana and 40 beers. Faux’s printer gets stuffed into Davy Jones’ Locker by a bully with a penchant for climate control. Cosmac draws upon the talents of the crew for development of X-Day: the Video Game. Reverend 80 masters the art of not talking directly into the microphone, and Fidd masters the art of yelling at him for it. Cat Feather spills the beans about her visit with Apostasy X Fnord. Aster Six successfully corrals the drunks and expels them from the lab. The broken bong count for this episode is ONE (Cosmac).