peas – Page 5 – Time for the Show

Episode 21: One Thousand People Named “Gregory”

Who would win: one steroider, or one crackboi?? This question has plagued self-appointed dipshits since times pseudo-memorial, measured on the scale of DOZENS OF HOURS AGO, but this week’s pennjillette, HMFIC Doc Ellis, breaks it all THE FUCK DOWN for y’all’s. You think you’re sexy enough to listen to this episode? You’re probably right — IT’S THAT BAD!! This is the first intentionally un-lost, surprise/regularly-scheduled episode in cerebro-apocalyptic history! Because Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn’t show up until mere minutes before the scheduled end of the show, we continued for A WHOLE EXTRA HOUR — mostly just to allow peas to offer his Blind Eye submission and the fan-favorite: peas apologizes to everyone for everything ever. Uninitiated viewers are hereby admonished to approach this episode in a mature manner, not succumbing to the temptations of low-hanging toilet humor and cultish sophistry.

Episode 19: Scammers, Flim-Flammers and God-Damners

“He who shits before he showers yet still wipes his ass is a fool.” — Book of Fidd, 2:73 For the THIRD week in a row, TIME FOR THE SHOW is rated the number one Canadian internet radio show in southeast Asian sweatshops! Jackie Robinson, the baseballist, does NOT make an appearance in this episode, but Reverand [sic] peas [sic], Doktor Faux, and Fidd Chewley manage to break the baseball color-barrier for the first time in the 21st century ALL BY THEMSELVES! We’re HEROES. This is the episode where Doktor Faux makes a polygraph machine question itself, Reverand [sic] peas [sic] lobbies for the rights of melted plastic army men, and Fidd Chewley promotes his new business — selling the unibrows of school bus drivers. This week’s episode is sponsored by Family Crest, the incestuous toothpaste.

Episode 17: Benefits of a Rifled Urethra

This week’s pennjillette is Reverend Couchsloth, who joins in the second half of the show to confirm Fidd’s spiritual diagnosis. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] can’t seem to stop talking about how tort reform will affect NASA. Doktor Faux blows bubbles into the microphone in an attempt to appeal to our five-to-nine-year-old demographic. Fidd looks into the show code and discovers that robot nipples are programmed to twist themselves. The unacceptable truth that the End Times of every religion have ALREADY HAPPENED on the SAME DATE IN THE PAST is revealed. All listeners to this episode will have the overdue balances Blockbuster accounts WIPED CLEAN. You’re welcome.

Episode 16: Legume

This week’s pennjillette is Doktor Legume! On this episode, the hosts have their white privilege called out by Doktor Legume. Doktor Faux trades his family’s cow for the last three Quaaludes in existence. Fidd Chewley’s weekly tip for non-hemophiliacs is how to de-scramble eggs WITHOUT selling your soul to Satan. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] introduces his new line of low-impact wiffledildoes.

Episode 15: Caller 23 and Me

The sound sucked on the last show suck’d, so here’s a bunch of pre-recorded stuff edited together into some kind of show-like conflagration! In this, the most un-lost-est of episodes, our pennjillette is Reverend Caller 23, in the studio for gardening tips and best practices regarding the storage of coin polish. reverand [sic] peas [sic] had a bad day and subsequently fades in and out of a Discord coma. Doktor Faux explains the perils of non-standard jar threading. Fidd Chewley offers his patented Do’s-and-Dont’s regarding false memory implantation. Listen to this episode seven times in a row and win an ice cube tray full of George Wasington Memorial Toothpaste!

Episode 14: Cat Feather

This week’s pennjillette is Cat Feather. Fidd can’t correctly tune his duduk, so he purposefuly sneezes on Faux’s ant farm in frustration. peas [sic] attempts to do good radio; he is immediately corrected and punished by Faux and Fidd. Co-solipsists, Dok Cosmac and Not-That-Bob Dapper, join the show in the second hour, but soon run home crying to their mommies and TELLING ON US! By the end of the show, Penitent Man is once again the only one who passes. Leave a voicemail: 1-234-REV-FAUX See Cat Feather’s art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MEATPASTRIES Get your future logic developed at the Future Logic Development Corporation: www.FLDevCorp.com

Episode 12: Green Room

The whole point of doing the show live is to AVOID HAVING TO EDIT, but Fidd and Faux had to be in the OTHER studio during showtime this week, so we committed the ultimate Time for the Show sin by PRE-RECORDING A SHOW! That’s right, for the first time ever, this episode is actually a pre-prepared show, which gave us the chance to do things somewhat differently than usual, namely the inclusion of some prank calls by Faux and Fidd. The usual peas/Fidd/Faux circle-jerk was recorded the night before, much later than we normally do the show live, which explains why peas was DRUNK from minute one and passes out before the session is over. PEAS IS DRUNK ON THIS EPISODE, but it’s okay; he felt really bad about it the next morning and apologized to me and told me not to make a big deal about it.

Episode 11: Scrotal Furculum

Fidd and Faux only have a few hours to bill to the show, so Peas joins them and special guest Reverend Caller who has somehow gained access to the main gate at Hypercube Labs. It only takes a few minutes, but the guys over-come the shadow of the ECHO-FIDD before tearing off onto how Peas is simultaneously the BEST internet-radio-broadcaster in the Tri-Country area AND the SECOND-BEST as well!

Episode 10: Riley’d Up

The show returns to it’s normal Monday-night slot with the guys holding hands and singing songs. Special guest Riley Mix of Anti-Social Engineering joins the first hour, and tells us how his co-host is pee-shy when not in the special fortified bathroom. The guys then learn about “locking” the room behind them before going LIVE on the air, then Cosmac joins in on Hour 2 to update on X-Day: The Game: The Demo

Episode 09: Cape Fear

In this special FRIDAY-NIGHT episode of Time For The Show, the “safe-harbor” rule is thrown out and the SWEARS and CUSSES come FULL SWING! Faux takes a backseat as Engineer while Fidd and Peas discuss the weird world of today with (now back at home FROM Hypercube) Reverend 80. Faux unplugs Peas’ mic causing quite a stir in the studio!