Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui, then introduces him again, and again, then the show attempts to start, then peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui. The hosts lie about how good the show is going to be, then peas introduces his new character, Scoop McNewsgui. After playing the first song of the show, “20th Century Newsgui” by The Scoops, peas workshops a new character and names him “Scoop McNewsgui”. The Blind Eye Segment turns out to be good, but it could’ve been better if it’d included some kind of reference to Scoop McNewsgui. Week 3 of Is It a Band is played, and Christ be damned if Scoop McNewsgui doesn’t join the show for the live post-game report. In the second half, peas comes out of nowhere with a hot new idea: a Slavic character named “Scoop McNewsgui”, an offering which single-handedly saves the show — not just for THIS episode, but for perpetuity in all possible universes. As usual, peas apologizes for the show at the end of the show, but somehow forgets to apologize for inventing Scoop McNewsgui. This episode is best listened-to with earplugs.
“You’re gonna have to carry this one, peas!” Holy jumpin’ jeeperwinks; Fidd and Faux are recovering from two straight days of eating nothing but lunar regolith and popcorn. Peas wins a free trial-size box of Lucky Charms for being the millionth customer at the whites-only nail salon.
Doktor Faux runs out of toilet paper and must wipe his ass with his collection of defunct Chuck-E-Cheese tickets. Fidd elaborates on this week’s life hack: how to properly chill tampons for use on hot days.
Doktor Faux unveils a show designed by the Hypercube Labs Artificial Stupidity algorithm “SHOWROGAN”. The showbois come out swinging and take on the computerized show-notes full of what it believes YOU wanted! Fidd asks peas about his week, peas responds with a gripe from Discworld. The guys read letters from a computer that obviously isn’t listening to the show correctly, make a quick quip about video-game real-estate, and who should get the first shot at Martha Stewarts drapes.
