peas – Page 2 – Time for the Show

Episode 57: Phi for the Lo

“Each kind of living thing, Asclepius, no matter whether mortal or immortal, rational (or irrational), whether ensouled or soulless, every one has the appearance of its kind in keeping with its relation to the kind, and although each kind of living thing possesses the whole form of its kind, within that same form each of them differs from the other. For example, although mankind is one in form, so that a human can be distinguished on-sight, each person within the same form differs from the others. For the class is divine and incorporeal, as is anything apprehended by the mind.” — Asclepius

Episode 54: Toes, Tits, and Automobiles

NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.

Episode 53: This Title Left Intentionally Black

peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui, then introduces him again, and again, then the show attempts to start, then peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui. The hosts lie about how good the show is going to be, then peas introduces his new character, Scoop McNewsgui. After playing the first song of the show, “20th Century Newsgui” by The Scoops, peas workshops a new character and names him “Scoop McNewsgui”. The Blind Eye Segment turns out to be good, but it could’ve been better if it’d included some kind of reference to Scoop McNewsgui. Week 3 of Is It a Band is played, and Christ be damned if Scoop McNewsgui doesn’t join the show for the live post-game report. In the second half, peas comes out of nowhere with a hot new idea: a Slavic character named “Scoop McNewsgui”, an offering which single-handedly saves the show — not just for THIS episode, but for perpetuity in all possible universes. As usual, peas apologizes for the show at the end of the show, but somehow forgets to apologize for inventing Scoop McNewsgui. This episode is best listened-to with earplugs.

Episode 52: Hedgeclip & The Ankle Itch

Listening to this episode would spoil these notes. Reading these notes would spoil this episode. You’ve read enough; listen NOW while there’s still some meat on the show! If you think these show notes are vague, then you won’t believe how mediocre this episode is!

Episode 51: This Episode Hurt Us More Than It Hurt You

TIME FOR THE SHOW is back for a second year, thanks only to the tireless labor of the children in the Hypercube sweatshops, whose names will quickly be forgotten by history, but whose deeds will continue to earn us “likes” on Farcebook. The hosts planned a meeting before this episode to talk about what to do with the show in the new year, but it wouldn’t be an episode of TIME FOR THE SHOW if we didn’t spend the show talking about what to do on the show, so it was decided to save said meeting for the show, which turned out, as usual, to be potentially, but not actually, a good idea. All of the above plus Blind Eyes, Viewer Mail, Is It a Band, and Peas’s Apologies in this, the premiere episode of 2019 of TIME FOR THE SHOW!

Episode 49: The Final Kwanzaamas

It’s Christmas, and Jesus doesn’t look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in “radio school”. The hosts do their famous “intro trick”, which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what’s going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month’s worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submissions are fake news — a new record! Peas talks about something he calls a “mustard poltriss”, which for some reason leads him not only into disclosing the secrets he learned as a Shriner and Mason in the Scottish and York rites (no shit), but also articulating a scholarly explanation of Kwanzaa before getting steamrolled by Fidd and Faux into apologizing for the entire show hereuntoforthwith. Fidd and peas are rightfully shitfaced by the end of the show — no further notes required.

Episode 48: The Trial and Death of Arliss Michaels

Fidd is back in the studio from Tampax, Florida just in time to regret it! Doktor Faux scores BIG by registering the somehow-yet-unregistered web domain: TimeForTheShow.com. Faux responds to peas’s claim of being depressed by steamrolling over everything peas says in the first hour. peas attempts to smooth things over with Faux with what he calls a “radio trust fall”. Peas has a van: Adventure-1. In the Blind Eye segment, peas chooses the United Stated federal government just because he owes them several thousand dollars. The logistics of subcontracting as a stripper at Red Lobster are discussed before Reverend Scalpod joins the show to officiate IS IT A BAND. The merits of drinking root beer from a pug-dog skull are mentioned amongst the rest of the viewer mail, after which the hosts eventuate another segment of “Messiah or Pariah?”, with the focus being on VAPING. At the end of the show, peas does what he does best and apologizes for the whole episode. restoring our standing in the community back up to zero.

Episode 47: Attenuated Attendance

Peas has fled the country in an attempt to create an off-shore bank-account but doesn’t know there aren’t any on the beach. Fidd is barely alive after avoiding a puke-fee in Tampax. Doktor Cosmac arrives to attempt to replace peas, but who are we kidding. Aster Six shows up as well and the GANG plays Is it a Band with a new list by Cosmac. Pee-Wee Herman is the subject of this week’s Messiah or Pariah and Faux begs the viewers to tell a friend about the show. Won’t YOU?

Episode 46: Chris

After the previous show’s debacle Doktor Engineer Doktor Faux rebuilds the HyperCOMM voice-bridge just in time for the Show’s newest friend: Chris. Hailing from parts unknown, Chris enters the satellite studio in Las Vegas, Utah with peas and immediately begins challenging every authority on the show. After stealing the mic away from peas, Chris unleashes THREE (3) BLIND-EYES. Doktor Cosmac (COSMAC’S COMMANDOS) shows up to judge Is it a Band before viewer mails and voicemails are quickly overlooked and then a NEW GAME:Messiah or Pariah.The guys debate over Chuck E. Cheese’s position in society before Fidd tells a wholesome family story about the BALL PIT. Peas apologizes and everyone tells Chris how great he is.

Episode 45: Fidd’s Microphone Hates You

Fidd Chewley is calling in from Tampax again, which results in the show being mostly unlistenable (so on-par) . In this super-condensed episode the guys turn blind eyes which results in peas achieving his first “solid” erection as he goes on to tell Fidd how good his blind-eye was for the rest of the show.