peas – Page 3 – Time for the Show

Episode 44: Crapping Towards Bethlehem

A new sponsor: Betty Crocker’s Poop Roll-Ups. Time is fake because calendars are gay. Faux tells a joke. The TIME FOR THE SHOW “Take Kids Around the World” charity. Fidd is a WWII veteran. Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight. Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley. Canadian Felon summer camp. Who peed in your bongwater? A highly surmountable problem. BLIND EYES! Peas disapproves of Fidd’s Blind Eye. DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome. Mature language is immature. IS IT A BAND Round one: Bicyclops. Round two: Insecurity Council. Round three: Stinkfinger. Round four: The Radioactivists. Viewer mail: “What happened to the funny parts of the show?” Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist. Peas explains to you why you’re listening to this show. Arli$$. We kiss each other. Weekly Patreon love. CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?! Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone. Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer. The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt. Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. The ceremonial on-air sound check.Â Peas gets Teller on the show and demands the ears of Democrats.Â Hosts’ questions for Teller.Â Time for the Show: fuck, merry, kill. Monday is Bottomless Bread Night for Illuminati members only. A second round of Blind Eyes. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR GOOD CONTENT. Is It a Brand: the “Rumbleball” brand medicine ball. If you want to avoid seeing the movie “Venom”, simply impregnate your wife LIKE DOKTOR FAUX DID!! Peas dutifully apologizes for this episode. Our sacred Google Play link.

Episode 43: Ale ‘n’ Alienation in an Ailin’ Alien Nation

Fidd is drunk. Caller #23 joins the show as peas’s understudy. Daylight Savings Time, Ontario, 1908. Hitler was the first in space. Fidd sneezes drunkenly. Our Discord’s users’ meme war. Calvin peeing on Calvin. Peas pokes fabric. Fidd is drunk. RIP Whitey Bulger. Peas gets racialist. Jodi Arias sends Fidd some bagels. The reason crazy kids aren’t allowed gum. Is Peas our Klinger or our Radar? Who are you vaping? “Unicorn space jism”. The twenty-third caller. Patreon love. Fidd is drunk. Doesn’t Faux know it’s just a show? Fidd’s disambidextrous throne. Hazel of the Windmills’s fourtune read by peas. Fidd drunkenly interprets a bible verse for Hazel. The Google Play link. Peas leaves Caller #23 in charge. IS IT A BAND?! Caller #23 apologizes for the show on behalf of peas.

Episode 42: My Other Penis is a Mercedes

Doing show #3 material on show #42. Peas explains how to get even. Let’s cuss! Numbers make peas cough. Fidd bails peas out. Reverend Evan Stronge. Viewer mail (take one). Carrots’s nice letter to the mailman. Viewer mail (take two). Bed Bath &Beyond is secretly a titty bar. Fidd bows out. The dreaded mid-day hangover. No more NASA lawyer. Fidd proposes to propose to Jody Arias. Clitori against the proverbial glass. Oxtails & vodka update. Suck with your mouth, not with your heart. Peas challenges Fidd’s sportsmanship. Can a nigga reminisce?! BLIND EYES! AC abuse. Our number-one fan joins the show. Peas apologizes.

Episode 41: FUN-O-TAINMENT

Smoking in an airlock. P-doggin’ the show. Disobeying the clock. Cosmac’s Commandos. Boo-ing in Morse code. Pre-break break foreshadowing. Fidd’s biological clock. The ceremonial on-air sound check.

Episode 40: The Apple of My Eyenus

0:00:00 INTRO. RC23 ruined Fidd. Fake plugs, fake peas. Ideas are stupid.
0:08:33 Whisperings of a better show. Plagiarizing your own future. The Chinese are on-limits. #peastoo.
0:12:48 BREAK
0:13:34 RESET. Woeful Warren Alexander Peasworth Jr II. What’s your sneeze? Peas’s reverse toilet-jackin and pea-blue floorin’. $50 jack tax.
0:20:30 Chinese TP cameras. Recounting last week’s IIAB records. Zen & the art of passing out drunk. Faux directs peas.
0:26:25 BREAK. Pailhorse Magazine! Peas in Home Alone.
0:32:46 FCC part 15. Fidd drowns. The Peas in a Podcast preview. CBD beeswax caviar lip-balm. TFTS origin story.
0:38:00 Faux pleads the 5th. More PiaP preview.
0:45:05 BREAK.
0:46:31 RESET. Dem lanks. Patreon love. Tribute to Rev Heathen.
0:53:25 Paging Dr Scalpod! Peas got pranked by the post office. The evil plan. Faux busts peas’s bubble. Scalpod arrives.
1:03:31 Is it a Band?
1:04:29 Round 1: Yeti Love
1:06:42 Round 2: The Boil Makers
1:11:12 Round 3: Priority Mail Revue
1:18:12 Round 4: The Slammin’ Doors
1:20:54 Round 5: Baroqueback Mountain Ramblers
1:27:02 Round 6: Pink Hole Lust
1:32:28 Blind eyes (almost). “Believe like you MEAN it!” Faux’s butts.
1:41:23 Make the show great again. Henry McFachfas Jr’s bible verse & fortune. Derailed wrap-up attempt. Actual wrap-up attempt.

Episode 38: Is It a Toe?

Here is the dilemma in the face of the task of writing the notes for this show: either you’re a big fan, in which case I don’t need to write notes given that you’re going to listen to the whole episode anyway — OR — you AREN’T going to listen to this episode, but for some reason are still reading these words, in which case I’m curious as to why you’re reading notes to a show you’re not ear-chowing, BUT THAT’S OKAY! This is the second-and-final episode in-a-row in which Doktor Faux was away from Hypercube and so Fidd Chewley had to play “Guest Engineer”. Co-HMFIC of Free Think Radio, Marthartha, officiates this week’s round of Is It a Band, which ends up getting stretched out by the hosts to a 45-minute segment. So, okay, it ran a little bit long. So what?! We don’t shoot until we see THE PINKS OF THEIR EYES! Oh, you didn’t get the joke?? Well, GOOD FUCKIN’ LUCK, buddy, because the Slack Train ROLLS ON!! Aliens ABILLIONFUCKIN years from now will unearth this episode, and they will know if YOU were in on the joke or not! HURRY — figure out why the parts of this show that you didn’t THINK were funny were, actually, literally, clitorally, in fact, FUNNY, and perhaps you’ll have a chance at redumbtion!A certain cult leader demanded that I start listing proper notes in the episode descriptions. It isn’t that FUN has been banned; my travails have become his FUN! AND I FELL FOR IT! Here’s dem notes, followed by dem lanks: 0:00:00 — INTRO 0:03:00 — Cosmac & Faux in Noo Joisee 0:05:00 — Peas’s fried pennies 0:08:36 — THIS show. peas forgets. PROMISING to play the game later. regarding padding the clock. 0:18:13 — BREAK 0:22:20 — RESET 0:24:05 — Meemees, memays, and meams; OH MY! The cussin’ police. Buttsville. 0:31:32 — Hypercube Minicubes. Viewer Mail. 0:39:29 — Peas peas-slams Faux. Faux’s recording advice: press “record”. The NSA bass joke. More promises to play the game later. 0:43:11 — More viewer mail. 0:46:38 — Fnord’s Scorekeepers. Joisee hates Faux. Even more promises to play the game later. Peas has a stroke. 0:51:38 — Drum lesson: The Purdie Shuffle 0:58:05 — RESET 1:02:00 — The Scarlet “P”. Faux tricks Fidd. Where’s Marthartha? There she is! 1:06:31 — Co-HMFICs Dr Ellis & Marthartha on French Canadians. Even MORE promises to play the game. 1:13:13 — We play the game… for the ENTIRE REST OF THE SHOW! Seriously, “Is It a Band?” goes on until the end of the show. Enjoy. EPILOGUE — Peas apologizes for the show. Post-show chat.

Episode 37: Rewardians in Emergentilian Clothing

“It was in a mirror, at some time, in some place, that the first act of recognition occurred, the point when man stared into the ocean, saw his face in its infinity, grew anxious, and began to ask,” Who is that?…” SÃ¡ndor MÃ¡rai: Casanova in Bolzano

Episode 35: Trochaic Tantrumeter

This week’s show is brought to you by Respectacles, the eyeglasses that improve your vision AND your hatred of minorities!! So much has happened since last week’s episode that we didn’t even address any of it! The best podcasts leave all the content to the imagination of the listener, lest the show be spoiled. Doktor Faux takes an entire morgue hostage and threatens to shoot a corpse every hour until the United Nations issues a statement affirming that the vein in his nutsack is “normal” and “totally does NOT look weird”. Fidd talks about his experience taking third place in the rolling-paper-airplane championships. Peas apologizes for missing last week’s show, then, as usual, he duly apologizes for NOT missing this week’s show. Dok Cosmac once again joins the show as the guest judge for “Is It a Band?” This is the part of the episode description where I cut superficial wounds on my arm in a desperate bid for your attention.

Episode 33: Don’t Bread on Me

You’re going to SHIT YOUR FACE IN HALF when you hear this one! Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn’t show up to this episode, probably because it’s Labor Day and he got too shit-housed to do the show — BUT THAT’S OKAY, because Doktor Cosmac, the Cheap Engineer of Hypercube Labs, joins Faux & Fidd for the entire show and officiates this week’s “Is It a Band” with guest contestant, Cat Feather! Fidd teaches the kids what NOT to do by emptying the contents of a road flare onto a paper plate and snorting it…again. Doktor Faux reminds you what that really funny joke was that you thought of that one time, but forgot. Elon Musk calls in to admit that he’s an unused Hideo Kojima villain who escaped into the real world.

Episode 32: It’s True Because It’s Funny

You are going to SHIT YOUR FACE IN HALF when you hear this episode! Ready to make the most exciting two-hour mistake of your life? If so, don’t miss a single syllable! In addition to answering viewer mail, turning blind eyes toward ISIS, and playing “Is It a Band”, Sean Connery calls in to talk about how to pay for whores with Bitcoin. It doesn’t take a psychic meteorologist to tell you why a basketball won’t fit in your ass, so why would you trust one to interpret the crop circles in your pubes?? YOU WOULDN’T!! That’s why we do what we do.