scalpod

Ep 68: The Title Has Been Censored

Dok Faux explores all of the music that “they” don’t want you to hear. A history of the PMRC is presented and discussed. A new robot is commissioned just in time for Is-It-A-Band. Caller 23 tries to play Pokémon Go! On a Motorola RAZR plugged directly in to the wall using the cord from a box fan.

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Episode 64: RoboJoe’s RoboShow

And they said robots couldn’t make music… Well, ShoRogan proves everyone wrong in this episode, as robot generated music is aired throughout. Rev. Ferg scores his first win on Is It A Band. Dr. Faux diddles while he dallies, Fidd Chewley is played by both Fidd and Caller23, and Peas shows up to talk about his teeth.

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Episode 54: Toes, Tits, and Automobiles

NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.

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Episode 50: A Very Brady New Year’s Eve

It’s the New Year’s Eve episode of a podcast, which means you already know it’s going to suck and the hosts will get wasted, HOWEVER COMMA business still gets done, yo. Dok Cosmac is in the studio to join the hosts for the final Is It a Band game of the season, after which an ultimate champ is crowned and the season’s statistics are released by Judge Scalpod. After stumbling through the Blind Eye and viewer mail segments, peas apologizes for the episode and 2018 in general. With the final show of the year in the can, Fidd & Faux pack the entire season in a truck and drive it into Yucca Mountain.

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Episode 49: The Final Kwanzaamas

It’s Christmas, and Jesus doesn’t look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in “radio school”. The hosts do their famous “intro trick”, which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what’s going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month’s worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submissions are fake news — a new record! Peas talks about something he calls a “mustard poltriss”, which for some reason leads him not only into disclosing the secrets he learned as a Shriner and Mason in the Scottish and York rites (no shit), but also articulating a scholarly explanation of Kwanzaa before getting steamrolled by Fidd and Faux into apologizing for the entire show hereuntoforthwith. Fidd and peas are rightfully shitfaced by the end of the show — no further notes required.

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Episode 48: The Trial and Death of Arliss Michaels

Fidd is back in the studio from Tampax, Florida just in time to regret it! Doktor Faux scores BIG by registering the somehow-yet-unregistered web domain: TimeForTheShow.com. Faux responds to peas’s claim of being depressed by steamrolling over everything peas says in the first hour. peas attempts to smooth things over with Faux with what he calls a “radio trust fall”. Peas has a van: Adventure-1. In the Blind Eye segment, peas chooses the United Stated federal government just because he owes them several thousand dollars. The logistics of subcontracting as a stripper at Red Lobster are discussed before Reverend Scalpod joins the show to officiate IS IT A BAND. The merits of drinking root beer from a pug-dog skull are mentioned amongst the rest of the viewer mail, after which the hosts eventuate another segment of “Messiah or Pariah?”, with the focus being on VAPING. At the end of the show, peas does what he does best and apologizes for the whole episode. restoring our standing in the community back up to zero.

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Episode 45: Fidd’s Microphone Hates You

Fidd Chewley is calling in from Tampax again, which results in the show being mostly unlistenable (so on-par) . In this super-condensed episode the guys turn blind eyes which results in peas achieving his first “solid” erection as he goes on to tell Fidd how good his blind-eye was for the rest of the show.

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Episode 44: Crapping Towards Bethlehem

A new sponsor: Betty Crocker’s Poop Roll-Ups.  Time is fake because calendars are gay. Faux tells a joke.  The TIME FOR THE SHOW “Take Kids Around the World” charity. Fidd is a WWII veteran. Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight. Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley. Canadian Felon summer camp.  Who peed in your bongwater?  A highly surmountable problem. BLIND EYES! Peas disapproves of Fidd’s Blind Eye. DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome. Mature language is immature. IS IT A BAND Round one: Bicyclops.  Round two: Insecurity Council.  Round three: Stinkfinger.  Round four: The Radioactivists.  Viewer mail: “What happened to the funny parts of the show?”  Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist.  Peas explains to you why you’re listening to this show.  Arli$$. We kiss each other.  Weekly Patreon love. CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?!  Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone.  Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer.  The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt.  Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. The ceremonial on-air sound check.  Peas gets Teller on the show and demands the ears of Democrats.  Hosts’ questions for Teller.  Time for the Show: fuck, merry, kill. Monday is Bottomless Bread Night for Illuminati members only.  A second round of Blind Eyes. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR GOOD CONTENT. Is It a Brand: the “Rumbleball” brand medicine ball. If you want to avoid seeing the movie “Venom”, simply impregnate your wife LIKE DOKTOR FAUX DID!!  Peas dutifully apologizes for this episode. Our sacred Google Play link.

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