The first time for the show of the year! The guys go over the Patreon levels, and Peas’ TRUE role in the show. Faux discusses
Catfish Joe and his legacy in American literature. Fidd tries to sell Peas a donor package, meanwhile Reverend Caller 23 calls
in to discuss where sunburns come from?
Time For The Show
Season One – Episode One
January 04, 2018
Doktor Faux, Reverand Peas, Fidd Chewley
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Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
Here is the dilemma in the face of the task of writing the notes for this show: either you’re a big fan, in which case I don’t need to write notes given that you’re going to listen to the whole episode anyway — OR — you AREN’T going to listen to this episode, but for some reason are still reading these words, in which case I’m curious as to why you’re reading notes to a show you’re not ear-chowing, BUT THAT’S OKAY! This is the second-and-final episode in-a-row in which Doktor Faux was away from Hypercube and so Fidd Chewley had to play “Guest Engineer”. Co-HMFIC of Free Think Radio, Marthartha, officiates this week’s round of Is It a Band, which ends up getting stretched out by the hosts to a 45-minute segment. So, okay, it ran a little bit long. So what?! We don’t shoot until we see THE PINKS OF THEIR EYES! Oh, you didn’t get the joke?? Well, GOOD FUCKIN’ LUCK, buddy, because the Slack Train ROLLS ON!! Aliens ABILLIONFUCKIN years from now will unearth this episode, and they will know if YOU were in on the joke or not! HURRY — figure out why the parts of this show that you didn’t THINK were funny were, actually, literally, clitorally, in fact, FUNNY, and perhaps you’ll have a chance at redumbtion!
A certain cult leader demanded that I start listing proper notes in the episode descriptions. It isn’t that FUN has been banned; my travails have become his FUN! AND I FELL FOR IT!
This episode is sponsored by Flo-tato: the official life-preserver of the sovereign nation of Ireland. You are going to SHIT YOUR OWN FACE when you hear this episode. Elon Musk calls in to tell us why he’ll never call in to our show. Things may not be going ideally for you, but at least your nipples don’t look like pieces of half-chewed gum. Inspector Gadget is revealed to be a go-go-gadget racist! Reverend Scalpod returns to officiate this week’s round of “Is It a Band?”. Fidd and peas have a rare moment of mutual appreciation of each other’s choices for this week’s Blind Eye segment. Dok Faux basically shakes his head and reevaluates his life LIVE ON THE AIR. The militantism of tennis ballboys is revealed to be the future of the United States of Florida.
After Doktor Faux wrings out his towel, he decides to jump on the next freight-train out of Hypercube and takes a night off. This leaves the HyperCOMM in complete anarchy as Elvis Martini and Dok Ellis hijack the feed and throw a huge internet party full of bad connections, reverb, dropped calls and cheap audio equipment. It’s an ORGY of SLACK as Time for the Show is mutated into a complete free-for-all featuring all your HyperCOMM favorites such as Lord Ferg, Cosmac, Scalpod, Marthartha, Agent Lloyd and a rotating cast of callers attempt to save the Show from itself.
