Episode 63: Rerun of this Episode

If all you wanted for Christmas this year was ten pounds of Reverend Caller #23 in a five-pound bag, then Christmas has come early for you. The role of Fidd Chewley is played by Reverend Caller #23, who reveals insights about “your fucking face”, the role of “peas” is played by Fidd Chewley, and the role of Doktor Faux is played by the tenuous exterior he portrays in public to poorly hide his racist leanings. Don’t listen to this episode unless you’ve already skipped listening to it!

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Episode 60: Two Girls, One Cuck

If your ears aren’t dripping with amniotic fluid after listening to this episode, then we’ll give you TRIPLE YOUR DIGNITY BACK! For the entirety of this episode, Cat Feather plays the role of Fidd Chewley, Aster Six plays the role of Argus Faux, and peas plays the role of whoever plays the role of peas when peas isn’t present! 60 is a highly composite number, and episode 60 of TFTS turned out to be a highly composite version of the show as exterpreted by the most capable of all proxies. HOW AUSPICIOUS! Not since banks started offering sugar-free lollipops has such an advantageous circumstance eventuated itself — this time in an easily digestible podcast suppository! Get off your ass, sit down, and in the words of Chuck Berry’s fictional cousin, “Listen to THIS!”

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Episode 59: Quiefing for Allah

“… and thus the imperative which refers to the choice of means to one’s own happiness, that is, the precept of Time for the Show, is always hypothetical; the action is not commanded absolutely, but only as the means to another purpose, especially when ipecac syrup is not available.” — Immanuel Kant

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Episode 57: Phi for the Lo

“Each kind of living thing, Asclepius, no matter whether mortal or immortal, rational (or irrational), whether ensouled or soulless, every one has the appearance of its kind in keeping with its relation to the kind, and although each kind of living thing possesses the whole form of its kind, within that same form each of them differs from the other. For example, although mankind is one in form, so that a human can be distinguished on-sight, each person within the same form differs from the others. For the class is divine and incorporeal, as is anything apprehended by the mind.” — Asclepius

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Episode 56: The Audio Transcript of Episode 56

This week, the role of peas [sic] is played by the visionary Reverend 80! The best part of having someone other than peas [sic] play the role of peas [sic] is that when we ask him who his Blind Eye is, he actually has one. After his having of the previously mentioned Blind Eye (go one sentence back if you missed it), 80, as peas [sic], joins Faux & Fidd for a riveting game of Is It a Band, which scalpod [sic] and Dok Cosmac dual-officiate, and even though two refs in the same game is kind of gay, it’s 2019 and we be gettin’ WOKE. There’s a new weekly bit: FIDD CROW. I think it went okay but I’m typing these notes before I’ve heard the show, so no promises here. Hell, you people are lucky I’m not just MAKING UP the show notes like I used to do before Dok Faux told me to stop! HOWEVER COMMA Rev 80 did a breathtaking recital of The Apologies of peas [sic], and you’re going to shit your ears in half when you hear it — just don’t judge us.

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Episode 55: The Hour of Time

After begging us for weeks to let him back on the show, Rev Ivan Stang returns for his second TFTS appearance in as many years to fill the dank shoes of peas, who is absent this week on account of he was playing Chicken in the street again. Stang talks about yodeling ticks, his experience of being hired to kill Andre Agassi’s ball-boy, and the fact that his dog, Buddy, is safe and sound. After a comprehensive lesson on copyright law, scalpod and Dok Cosmac join the show and fight over which one of them gets to host this week’s round of “Is It a Band”. Stang invents a new drinking game called “Do a Shot Every Time I Throw a Handful of Pasketti at Fidd”. The game is played, causing impoverished children to cry out what little water their bodies still harbored over the waste of pasketti, which ends up being the funniest part of the show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.

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Episode 54: Toes, Tits, and Automobiles

NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.

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