“You’re gonna have to carry this one, peas!” Holy jumpin’ jeeperwinks; Fidd and Faux are recovering from two straight days of eating nothing but lunar regolith and popcorn. Peas wins a free trial-size box of Lucky Charms for being the millionth customer at the whites-only nail salon.
Doktor Faux runs out of toilet paper and must wipe his ass with his collection of defunct Chuck-E-Cheese tickets. Fidd elaborates on this week’s life hack: how to properly chill tampons for use on hot days.
Who would win: one steroider, or one crackboi?? This question has plagued self-appointed dipshits since times pseudo-memorial, measured on the scale of DOZENS OF HOURS AGO, but this week’s pennjillette, HMFIC Doc Ellis, breaks it all THE FUCK DOWN for y’all’s. You think you’re sexy enough to listen to this episode? You’re probably right — IT’S THAT BAD!! This is the first intentionally un-lost, surprise/regularly-scheduled episode in cerebro-apocalyptic history! Because Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn’t show up until mere minutes before the scheduled end of the show, we continued for A WHOLE EXTRA HOUR — mostly just to allow peas to offer his Blind Eye submission and the fan-favorite: peas apologizes to everyone for everything ever. Uninitiated viewers are hereby admonished to approach this episode in a mature manner, not succumbing to the temptations of low-hanging toilet humor and cultish sophistry.
Doing show #3 material on show #42. Peas explains how to get even. Let’s cuss! Numbers make peas cough. Fidd bails peas out. Reverend Evan Stronge. Viewer mail (take one). Carrots’s nice letter to the mailman. Viewer mail (take two). Bed Bath & Beyond is secretly a titty bar.