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Democrats to block billions of aid money to struggling entrepreneur

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Reptilian Overlord, Hillary Clinton (D), at the Utopian Network rally in Clearwater, FL

(TFTS) – It is clear that once again, the “powers” that “be” have every intention of starving people in the streets. One such example is the burgeoning super-science engineering firm Hypercube Laboratories of Orlando, Florida. This grassroots-funded and surprisingly friendly local business has barely made a profit for years. But that’s not surprising, as Hypercube‘s mission is to ensure it’s technology can make it’s way directly to the public at little or no cost to them. So Hypercube makes regular requests for financial assistance from Uncle Sam. Hypercube is an American business, and it need’s America’s help in manufacturing it’s revolutionary discoveries.

This wouldn’t seem to be such a difficult task, seeing as the socialist liberal-elite are more than enthusiastic about doling out cold-hard cash to the impoverished. But Hypercube won’t be getting a single dime after receiving their fourteenth denial from the FED. Hypercube’s public relations officer, Ned Chedley, explained to us that the government won’t classify any of Hypercube’s research as “scientific” or “sound”, which is primarily because of what Chedley described as “a bias against unconventional, yet humane, testing methods”. When asked about the methods in question, Chedley nervously mixed a handfull of pills into his cup of coffee and stated “it’s tricky, you know, we’re working on patents and there’s so much proprietary information, we don’t want some of this getting out to soon. It’s not that we’re hiding anything, we’re just keeping it in a place no one can access or escape from.”

So here we have yet another example of how a communist new world order is already strangling one more hopeful group of American opportunists. If things like this upset you, it is recommended by Hypercube’s own Doktor Faux “to listen to Time for the Show, LIVE every Monday night at ten pee-em Eastern! And don’t forget to subscribe!”

When asked about where people could go to subscribe to Time for the Show, a large metal sign with blazing-pink neon lettering read out “this website”.
That was pretty neat.

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Argus Faux
Argus Faux
Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.

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