Tag: faux
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Ep 33: Don’t Bread on Me

This one is ROUGH. Fidd and Faux are in a post-peas-problem state and struggle to rally for the show. Fortunately, Langford the Lungist calls in to explain why vaping M&Ms is better for you than smoking them. In addition to the Kenny Floyd award, Peas earns a platinum XBox achievement for stepping on 100% of Fidd’s jokes. Dok Cosmac jumps into the HyperCOMM to officiate our new game: “Is It A Band”. Scalpod gets jealous and accuses Cosmac of being a douchejockey. HMFIC of FTR, Dr Ellis, unveils the new Fidd Chewley fashion action playset. Overall, this one SUCKS! Enjoy.
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Ep 32: It’s True Because It’s Funny

You are going to SHIT YOUR FACE IN HALF when you hear this episode! Ready to make the most exciting two-hour mistake of your life? If so, don’t miss a single syllable! In addition to answering viewer mail, turning blind eyes toward ISIS, and playing “Is It a Band”, Sean Connery calls in to talk about how to pay for whores with Bitcoin. It doesn’t take a psychic meteorologist to tell you why a basketball won’t fit in your ass, so why would you trust one to interpret the crop circles in your pubes?? YOU WOULDN’T!! That’s why we do what we do.
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Ep 30: Damn the Astronauts!

This episode is sponsored by Flo-tato: the official life-preserver of the sovereign nation of Ireland. You are going to SHIT YOUR OWN FACE when you hear this episode. Elon Musk calls in to tell us why he’ll never call in to our show. Things may not be going ideally for you, but at least your nipples don’t look like pieces of half-chewed gum. Inspector Gadget is revealed to be a go-go-gadget racist! Reverend Scalpod returns to officiate this week’s round of “Is It a Band?”. Fidd and peas have a rare moment of mutual appreciation of each other’s choices for this week’s Blind Eye segment. Dok Faux basically shakes his head and reevaluates his life LIVE ON THE AIR. The militantism of tennis ballboys is revealed to be the future of the United States of Florida.
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Ep 28: The Pros and Cons of Carbonated Semen

In this episode, Fidd Chewley once again intentionally gets caught by “To Catch a Predator” in his ongoing investigation, “To Catch a Predator Catcher”, and you’ll NEVER BELIEVE the AGGRESSIVELY PREDICTABLE CONCLUSION!! Professional Hopscotch referee, Doktor Cosmac, joins the show halfway through to satisfy government-mandated psychological diversity requirements. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] delivers an overly-long, underly-cautious PSA. Fidd delivers a PSA of his own: if you don’t do drugs, then drugs will do YOU. Doktor Faux doesn’t understand either PSA and demands to be mansplained to. Peas defends his championship in our new game, “Is It a Band”. We hereby apologize to our sponsors for forgetting to mention them during the show AGAIN: Adderall PM, Johnson & Johnson Human Growth Hormone, and the Make-a-Wish Foundation (please don’t tell them I’m not terminally ill).
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Ep 27: Death Throes of a Fugly Lunchbox

HOLY SHIT, EVERYONE — IT’S TIME FOR THAT THING THEY CALL A “SHOW”! It’s Doktor/Engineer/Doktor Faux, Reverand [sic] peas [sic], and Fidd Chewley this week in their endless campaign to preserve endangered jokes from extinction! If we don’t tell these jokes, the WHO WILL?! We play our new game, “Is It a Band”. Dok Faux drops a MOAB on peas’s invented religion by showing that it was already invented. Fidd explains why bagpipe players get all the pus*y. The esoteric procedure & methodology of stirring hot dog food is expounded and elaborated upon. Faux’s other gallbladder is a Mercedes. Fidd resolves a long-standing philosophical impasse by explaining that bad things ONLY happen to good people because they’re good things when they happen to bad people. The benefits of faking cardiac arrest in front of your dog are explored. Now that you’ve read this entire episode description, you are no longer required to listen to the episode. Please delete it now.