me and my dad make models of clipper ships
i like clipper ships because they are fast
clipper ships sail in the ocean
clipper ships never sail in rivers or lakes
clipper ships have lots of sails and are made out of wood
timefortheshow
Time for the Show 1×57: Phi for the Lo
“Each kind of living thing, Asclepius, no matter whether mortal or immortal, rational (or irrational), whether ensouled or soulless, every one has the appearance of its kind in keeping with its relation to the kind, and although each kind of living thing possesses the whole form of its kind, within that same form each of them differs from the other. For example, although mankind is one in form, so that a human can be distinguished on-sight, each person within the same form differs from the others. For the class is divine and incorporeal, as is anything apprehended by the mind.”
— Asclepius
Time for the Show 1×56: The Audio Transcript of Episode 1×56
This week, the role of peas [sic] is played by the visionary Reverend 80! The best part of having someone other than peas [sic] play the role of peas [sic] is that when we ask him who his Blind Eye is, he actually has one. After his having of the previously mentioned Blind Eye (go one sentence back if you missed it), 80, as peas [sic], joins Faux & Fidd for a riveting game of Is It a Band, which scalpod [sic] and Dok Cosmac dual-officiate, and even though two refs in the same game is kind of gay, it’s 2019 and we be gettin’ WOKE. There’s a new weekly bit: FIDD CROW. I think it went okay but I’m typing these notes before I’ve heard the show, so no promises here. Hell, you people are lucky I’m not just MAKING UP the show notes like I used to do before Dok Faux told me to stop! HOWEVER COMMA Rev 80 did a breathtaking recital of The Apologies of peas [sic], and you’re going to shit your ears in half when you hear it — just don’t judge us.
Time for the Show 1×55: The Hour of Time
After begging us for weeks to let him back on the show, Rev Ivan Stang returns for his second TFTS appearance in as many years to fill the dank shoes of peas, who is absent this week on account of he was playing Chicken in the street again. Stang talks about yodeling ticks, his experience of being hired to kill Andre Agassi’s ball-boy, and the fact that his dog, Buddy, is safe and sound. After a comprehensive lesson on copyright law, scalpod and Dok Cosmac join the show and fight over which one of them gets to host this week’s round of “Is It a Band”. Stang invents a new drinking game called “Do a Shot Every Time I Throw a Handful of Pasketti at Fidd”. The game is played, causing impoverished children to cry out what little water their bodies still harbored over the waste of pasketti, which ends up being the funniest part of the show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.
Time for the Show 1×54: Toes, Tits, and Automobiles
NEXT WEEK’S SHOW NOTES: peas comes right outta the gate spewing racist filth about the Irish. The hosts quickly turn the show into an encounter group and attempt to bring peas to the light by showing him the virulence of his hateful ways. Although the intervention was unsuccessful, the hosts got peas to cry, so this one’s going in the books as a Pyrrhic victory. Fidd & Faux order a pizza and silently eat it while peas wishes upon a dandelion. They do the god-damned Blind Eye, the god-damned Is It a Band, the obligatory Crack the Sky — all the usual bullshit — but a new bit is introduced: Ask peas (I mean, that’s not the name of the bit; I’m telling you to ask peas if you want to know), and Scalpod serves a heapin’ helpin’ of his prototype game, which leads Fidd to making disparaging statements of the viewers’ attention spans. peas, as usual, apologizes for the show’s events at the end, thereby wiping the residual shit from the baby butt that is this show. Happy fuckin’ birthday.