Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui, then introduces him again, and again, then the show attempts to start, then peas introduces Scoop McNewsgui. The hosts lie about how good the show is going to be, then peas introduces his new character, Scoop McNewsgui. After playing the first song of the show, “20th Century Newsgui” by The Scoops, peas workshops a new character and names him “Scoop McNewsgui”. The Blind Eye Segment turns out to be good, but it could’ve been better if it’d included some kind of reference to Scoop McNewsgui. Week 3 of Is It a Band is played, and Christ be damned if Scoop McNewsgui doesn’t join the show for the live post-game report. In the second half, peas comes out of nowhere with a hot new idea: a Slavic character named “Scoop McNewsgui”, an offering which single-handedly saves the show — not just for THIS episode, but for perpetuity in all possible universes. As usual, peas apologizes for the show at the end of the show, but somehow forgets to apologize for inventing Scoop McNewsgui. This episode is best listened-to with earplugs.
This week’s pennjillette is Doktor Legume! On this episode, the hosts have their white privilege called out by Doktor Legume. Doktor Faux trades his family’s cow for the last three Quaaludes in existence. Fidd Chewley’s weekly tip for non-hemophiliacs is how to de-scramble eggs WITHOUT selling your soul to Satan. Reverand [sic] peas [sic] introduces his new line of low-impact wiffledildoes.
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