TIME FOR THE SHOW is back for a second year, thanks only to the tireless labor of the children in the Hypercube sweatshops, whose names will quickly be forgotten by history, but whose deeds will continue to earn us “likes” on Farcebook. The hosts planned a meeting before this episode to talk about what to do with the show in the new year, but it wouldn’t be an episode of TIME FOR THE SHOW if we didn’t spend the show talking about what to do on the show, so it was decided to save said meeting for the show, which turned out, as usual, to be potentially, but not actually, a good idea. All of the above plus Blind Eyes, Viewer Mail, Is It a Band, and Peas’s Apologies in this, the premiere episode of 2019 of TIME FOR THE SHOW!
HOLY SHIT, EVERYONE — IT’S TIME FOR THAT THING THEY CALL A “SHOW”! It’s Doktor/Engineer/Doktor Faux, Reverand [sic] peas [sic], and Fidd Chewley this week in their endless campaign to preserve endangered jokes from extinction! If we don’t tell these jokes, the WHO WILL?! We play our new game, “Is It a Band”. Dok Faux drops a MOAB on peas’s invented religion by showing that it was already invented. Fidd explains why bagpipe players get all the pus*y. The esoteric procedure & methodology of stirring hot dog food is expounded and elaborated upon. Faux’s other gallbladder is a Mercedes. Fidd resolves a long-standing philosophical impasse by explaining that bad things ONLY happen to good people because they’re good things when they happen to bad people. The benefits of faking cardiac arrest in front of your dog are explored. Now that you’ve read this entire episode description, you are no longer required to listen to the episode. Please delete it now.
“He who shits before he showers yet still wipes his ass is a fool.” — Book of Fidd, 2:73
For the THIRD week in a row, TIME FOR THE SHOW is rated the number one Canadian internet radio show in southeast Asian sweatshops! Jackie Robinson, the baseballist, does NOT make an appearance in this episode, but Reverand [sic] peas [sic], Doktor Faux, and Fidd Chewley manage to break the baseball color-barrier for the first time in the 21st century ALL BY THEMSELVES! We’re HEROES. This is the episode where Doktor Faux makes a polygraph machine question itself, Reverand [sic] peas [sic] lobbies for the rights of melted plastic army men, and Fidd Chewley promotes his new business — selling the unibrows of school bus drivers. This week’s episode is sponsored by Family Crest, the incestuous toothpaste.