Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
TIME FOR THE SHOW is back for a second year, thanks only to the tireless labor of the children in the Hypercube sweatshops, whose names will quickly be forgotten by history, but whose deeds will continue to earn us “likes” on Farcebook. The hosts planned a meeting before this episode to talk about what to do with the show in the new year, but it wouldn’t be an episode of TIME FOR THE SHOW if we didn’t spend the show talking about what to do on the show, so it was decided to save said meeting for the show, which turned out, as usual, to be potentially, but not actually, a good idea. All of the above plus Blind Eyes, Viewer Mail, Is It a Band, and Peas’s Apologies in this, the premiere episode of 2019 of TIME FOR THE SHOW!
Time for the Show returns! In this episode, the crew check in with each other before reaching into the mailbox and answer the first viewer mail of the year. Next, it’s a new name for an old bit: “Rhetoric of Negativity” where peas tells us about his desert jeepin’ traffic encounter. Fidd leads a new segment, “Time for the Teens” which leaves the others befuddled. Finally, the boys bust in to Proving Grounds with some bizarre headlines from across the world just before peas apologizes.
It’s Christmas, and Jesus doesn’t look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in “radio school”. The hosts do their famous “intro trick”, which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what’s going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month’s worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submissions are fake news — a new record! Peas talks about something he calls a “mustard poltriss”, which for some reason leads him not only into disclosing the secrets he learned as a Shriner and Mason in the Scottish and York rites (no shit), but also articulating a scholarly explanation of Kwanzaa before getting steamrolled by Fidd and Faux into apologizing for the entire show hereuntoforthwith. Fidd and peas are rightfully shitfaced by the end of the show — no further notes required.
