A new sponsor: Betty Crocker’s Poop Roll-Ups. Time is fake because calendars are gay. Faux tells a joke. The TIME FOR THE SHOW “Take Kids Around the World” charity. Fidd is a WWII veteran. Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight. Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley. Canadian Felon summer camp. Who peed in your bongwater? A highly surmountable problem. BLIND EYES! Peas disapproves of Fidd’s Blind Eye. DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome. Mature language is immature. IS IT A BAND –> Round one: Bicyclops. Round two: Insecurity Council. Round three: Stinkfinger. Round four: The Radioactivists. Viewer mail: “What happened to the funny parts of the show?” Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist. Peas explains to you why you’re listening to this show. Arli$$. We kiss each other. Weekly Patreon love. CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?! Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone. Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer. The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt. Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. The ceremonial on-air sound check. Peas gets Teller on the show and demands the ears of Democrats. Hosts’ questions for Teller. Time for the Show: fuck, merry, kill. Monday is Bottomless Bread Night for Illuminati members only. A second round of Blind Eyes. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR GOOD CONTENT. Is It a Brand: the “Rumbleball” brand medicine ball. If you want to avoid seeing the movie “Venom”, simply impregnate your wife LIKE DOKTOR FAUX DID!! Peas dutifully apologizes for this episode. Our sacred Google Play link.
This week’s show is brought to you by Respectacles, the eyeglasses that improve your vision AND your hatred of minorities!! So much has happened since last week’s episode that we didn’t even address any of it! The best podcasts leave all the content to the imagination of the listener, lest the show be spoiled. Doktor Faux takes an entire morgue hostage and threatens to shoot a corpse every hour until the United Nations issues a statement affirming that the vein in his nutsack is “normal” and “totally does NOT look weird”. Fidd talks about his experience taking third place in the rolling-paper-airplane championships. Peas apologizes for missing last week’s show, then, as usual, he duly apologizes for NOT missing this week’s show. Dok Cosmac once again joins the show as the guest judge for “Is It a Band?” This is the part of the episode description where I cut superficial wounds on my arm in a desperate bid for your attention.
Who would win: one steroider, or one crackboi?? This question has plagued self-appointed dipshits since times pseudo-memorial, measured on the scale of DOZENS OF HOURS AGO, but this week’s pennjillette, HMFIC Doc Ellis, breaks it all THE FUCK DOWN for y’all’s. You think you’re sexy enough to listen to this episode? You’re probably right — IT’S THAT BAD!! This is the first intentionally un-lost, surprise/regularly-scheduled episode in cerebro-apocalyptic history! Because Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn’t show up until mere minutes before the scheduled end of the show, we continued for A WHOLE EXTRA HOUR — mostly just to allow peas to offer his Blind Eye submission and the fan-favorite: peas apologizes to everyone for everything ever. Uninitiated viewers are hereby admonished to approach this episode in a mature manner, not succumbing to the temptations of low-hanging toilet humor and cultish sophistry.
The whole point of doing the show live is to AVOID HAVING TO EDIT, but Fidd and Faux had to be in the OTHER studio during showtime this week, so we committed the ultimate Time for the Show sin by PRE-RECORDING A SHOW! That’s right, for the first time ever, this episode is actually a pre-prepared show, which gave us the chance to do things somewhat differently than usual, namely the inclusion of some prank calls by Faux and Fidd. The usual peas/Fidd/Faux circle-jerk was recorded the night before, much later than we normally do the show live, which explains why peas was DRUNK from minute one and passes out before the session is over. PEAS IS DRUNK ON THIS EPISODE, but it’s okay; he felt really bad about it the next morning and apologized to me and told me not to make a big deal about it.
Reverend Ivan Stang from the Church of the SubGenius comes by to deny his involvement with anything that might have been considered remotely funny in the 1980s. Peas is there too.