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Argus Faux
Argus Faux
Doktor Argus Q. Faux is an impatient asshole with a bad temper. He enjoys trash-talking children in free-to-play games and uploading footage of his birth to pornographic websites. When not engineering TFTS, he can usually be found crying on the bathroom floor and contemplating the use of MSG as a dietary supplement.
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Ep 65: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Posted on Author Argus Faux

The gang discusses the Sam Stuttler PPV fight. Fidd doesn’t comment on his flame war with John MacAfee. Peas, played by Caller, disses Caller as Peas. The actual Peas shows up to apologize.
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Ep 77: Bobby

Posted on Author Argus Faux

Reverand [sic] peas [sic] is no longer allowed in the Fremont Children’s Clinic after he took too many Little Hugs Fruit Barrels from the mini-fridge behind the receptionist’s desk, but manages to squeeze himself (and his remaining tumors) into the first half of the show. Doktor Faux talks about how to better yourself through woodworking, and the show concludes with a broadcast of surveillance tapes from the Hypercube airlock featuring Fidd Chewley and the late Doctor Bobby Clock.
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Time for the Show 1×49: The Final Kwanzaamas

Posted on Author Fidd Chewley

It’s Christmas, and Jesus doesn’t look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in “radio school”. The hosts do their famous “intro trick”, which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what’s going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month’s worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submissions are fake news — a new record! Peas talks about something he calls a “mustard poltriss”, which for some reason leads him not only into disclosing the secrets he learned as a Shriner and Mason in the Scottish and York rites (no shit), but also articulating a scholarly explanation of Kwanzaa before getting steamrolled by Fidd and Faux into apologizing for the entire show hereuntoforthwith. Fidd and peas are rightfully shitfaced by the end of the show — no further notes required.

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